Steady Progress in Global War on Virginity

Colleagues-

As our Annual Report consistently shows, Blader Industries, Inc., has generously sponsored various copulation science research activities at any number of private institutes world-wide, with no strings attached. Our corporate mission is to get people copulating, because a virgin is obviously NOT a potential customer.

So you can only imagine I'm speckled to the point of flatulence to share with you early notice of ground breaking research from the Guttmacher Institute, which demonstrates for the first time that only 10% of newly married people are virgins. Clearly, we are making substantial progress in the Global War on Virginity.

But a word of warning. Suffice it to say, as the accompanying picture attests, our opposition is well-armed, ruthless, and no less committed to their cause then are we.

Our corporate motto at Blader Industries, Inc., is "A copulating customer is a happy customer" and so it is quite gratifying to see these attempts from our competitors to encourage abstinence among our potential customer base are falling limp.