Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Steady Progress in Global War on Virginity


As our Annual Report consistently shows, Blader Industries, Inc., has generously sponsored various copulation science research activities at any number of private institutes world-wide, with no strings attached. Our corporate mission is to get people copulating, because a virgin is obviously NOT a potential customer.

So you can only imagine I'm speckled to the point of flatulence to share with you early notice of ground breaking research from the Guttmacher Institute, which demonstrates for the first time that only 10% of newly married people are virgins. Clearly, we are making substantial progress in the Global War on Virginity.

But a word of warning. Suffice it to say, as the accompanying picture attests, our opposition is well-armed, ruthless, and no less committed to their cause then are we.

Our corporate motto at Blader Industries, Inc., is "A copulating customer is a happy customer" and so it is quite gratifying to see these attempts from our competitors to encourage abstinence among our potential customer base are falling limp.


J. said...

As a (the) faithful reader of your blog, I can't help but wonder what you think of this terribly disturbing news item.

Blader said...

Dear j. Colleague Reader.

Thank you so much for pointing out that disturbing news item.

My thoughts are that the times we live in are extremely perilous when esteemed organizations such as yahoo news feel compelled to offer crucial yet potentially inflammatory news items using completely non-functional links.

Thank you for your fidelity.

And unless you are my reader from Paraguay, you are precisely the OTHER faithful reader of my blog.

Ciao, Baby!!

luv, Blader

ps: I challenge you to find another blog anywhere where you get THIS kind of service.

wish said...

I never knew this site/blogs existed.
Think of the many hours I will be able to spend devoting myself to your readings and portfolio's!!!!

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