Friday, November 11, 2005

Introduction

Allow me to introduce myself. I am known by my many friends simply as Blader.

Strictly as a matter of corporate protocol, my associates refer to me as 'Fearless Leader'.

If you have found this log, then we shall presume that you have joined my circle of friends and so I ask that you address me by my given, rather than by my corporate, name.

I am a rare, dark eyed natural blond with a thick dark beard that I shave daily. My chest hair is impeccably groomed. In many primitive areas of the world that I travel, great attention is given to how a man cares for his chest hair and I have grown to cherish this protocol.

Who is Blader? Blader is complex, but hardly an enigma. I won't bore you with the details of my upbringing and education, other than to allow that both were considerable.

In some parts of the world I am extremely popular, and as I exit whatever mode of transportation I had taken to arrive in any particular hamlet, I'm often greeted warmly by the indigenous people. I am a neo-colonialist.

This is most especially true in my adopted homeland of Djibouti.

My association with the disobedient goes back many years. How it began was a mixture of good fortune and inspired genius.

Briefly, I discovered Djibouti one evening as I passed time in the bathroom leafing through the "D" World Book of Encyclopedia. I'll never forget the haunting feeling that came over me when I read that their birth rate was estimated to be slightly less than 20 births per 1,000 population.

As a leader in the copulation industry, my firm is known as the Haliburton of the copulation industry, I saw a clear opportunity. After finishing my business and flushing, I made some phone calls and before you could say "clip clap scally wag give your dog a bone" I was comfortably reclined inside my Gulfstream IV shooting towards the east coast of Africa where I was to meet President Ismail Omar Guelleh of Djibouti.

As your time is no less valuable than my own, I'll cut to the chase: It was not difficult to persuade President Guelleh of my proposal for he is a brilliant man. He accepted my offer that Blader Industries, Inc. would provide a no cost nationwide copulatory consulting service in exchange for access as the primary exporter of the fine wool that is harvested from virgin sheep in the Djiboutian highlands.

As you can discover for yourself, since Blader Industries has been on the job, the birth rate in Djibouti has doubled to 40 births per 1,000 population.

In the copulation industry, news of that kind of success spreads faster than a drug resistant venereal disease. As such, in addition to running my conglomerate, I'm frequently on the road giving speeches at various trade meetings, conferences and chataqua's.

At the moment I'm in a Uzbekistanian whorehouse. How I got here is a long story that I've posted elsewhere, but it began with an unexpected, and thankfully brief, imprisonment in Burkinio Faso on trumped up charges brought by, shall we just say, my nemesis.

After escaping I made my way to the west coast of Africa, then through the Mediterranean to Egypt, where I mistakenly boarded a flight that took me to my current location.

I'm not exactly trapped here, and feel I'm doing some good work by using computer skills to assist these wonderful southwest asian ladies become American Brides.

I hear the usual late afternoon commotion down below.....the mullahs are out and about 'cleaning' the streets and so we must all sit quietly as the rampage exhausts itself.

I will post you again later

---Blader

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