It gives me a sense of unbridled flatulence to finally be able to 'take the wraps off' one of Blader Industries, Inc., most exciting new initiatives to date.
Some time ago, I was approached in considerable secrecy by representatives from the highest level of the Russian government concerned about their declining birthrates. They asked us to devise a plan to reverse this alarming trend, with the explicit goal of heading off an almost certain population bottleneck if the trend continued.
I assigned this task to our crack team of specialists in the wholly-owned Copulation Consulting, Inc., subsidiary, who I'm happy to say has come up with a bangup plan, which the Russian government has adopted from us for a considerable fee.
Colleagues, I give you: Conception Day!!! On Sept 12 this and every year, Russians will take a National Copulation Holiday, encouraged to stay home and copulate away!! Any progeny born PRECISELY 9 months later on June 12 will be known as Baby Patriots, and they and their parents will be eligible for any number of prizes and whatnots as an additional incentive to actually copulate, rather than go boating or play golf or whatnot.
Because of the high profile nature of this successful campaign, or staff in the wholly-owned Marketing, Inc., subsidiary have come up with a catchy new corporate slogan as the center of our new ad campaign:
Blader Industries, Inc., because copulation isn't always a biological imperative