Southern baptists place global warming blame squarely on earth

The Southern Baptist convention, the largest denomination of evangelical christians anywhere, have just issued a statement that blames the earth for global warming and absolves humans, but not scientists, from any sins attributable to poor stewardship of the planet.

The resolution says the “record shows that global temperature has risen and fallen cyclically throughout geologic history” and that "there is absolutely no reason to think that the earth isn't playing tricks on God's creation once again."

The resolution continues to make the extraordinarily precise statement that says, "the scientific community is divided regarding the extent to which humans are responsible for recent global warming. If anybody has sinned, its the beady-eyed Darwinists with their false idolatry and secular humanism and whatnot and so forth. "

Finally, the resolution finished by stating, "Christians are called by God to exhibit dominion over the earth, and if it gets too warm, not that we think it will, it will be our job to pray to God to let Him know it is time lower the temperature and that should fix the problem."