Bush Finally Appoints New War 'Czar'

The Bush administration finally found someone who would agree to serve as their new war 'Czar', responsible for directing and overseeing all military operations currently being waged by US armed forces everywhere.

He is Pvt First Class Unknown Soldier, purported to be a highly experienced veteran first discovered in the Pacific theater by the noted WWII photographer Frank Pataye.

"We finally found someone we can blame the entire war on if things continue to go as poorly as they appear to be going," said White House spokesman Tony Snow, who added, "it is a brilliant solution to the problem and shows just how willing this President is willing to think outside the box in his campaign to bring peace and stability to the middle east."

Asked why no soldiers of higher rank, or anyone but unknown soldiers, were willing to step forward for the job, Mr. Snow would only say, "This administration values our appointees enthusiasm for the job, and if they are also qualified, we've always considered that to be a bonus."

Pvt First Class Unknown Soldier can't be found so is unavailable for comment.