It has come to my attention that the Blader Industries, Inc. generous corporate copulation policy is being abused.
Internal employee surveys conducted by our Human Resources Subsidiary consistently tell us that the number one reason you choose to work at Blader Industries, Inc., and not for one of our competitors, is our generous copulation policy....and also the fact that we don't have a sexual harassment policy, either.
We of course allow, and sometimes even encourage on the job copulation, provided appropriate hygienic standards are followed.
What most concerns me is the increased frequency of complaints that some employees are abusing this policy and interfering with the work product of their coworkers.
We expect that all of our employees will respect the career trajectory of their fellow workmates, and to refrain from workplace copulation when it might interfere with their ability to provide Blader Industries, Inc. products to our customers.
For this reason, I remind you that our corporate copulation policy allows you to copulate only in your cubicle or the cubicle assigned to the individual with whom you are copulating.
Furthermore, the threatening of a fellow co-worker who angers you by interrupting your copulation, for any reason, is grounds for dismissal, pending review.
My goodness! It's difficult to imagine how a species would have survived at all if it's members grew angry and hostile each time their coitus was interrupted!
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
--Fearless Leader (aka Blader)