Looming Battle in Global War on Evolution

As we all know from extensive 'scientific' research, the bonobo is the quirky, peaceful, almost hippie-like great ape species. Not known to engage in hostilities or violence, the scientific picture paints the bonobo as a fun loving animal possessesing an unquenchable sexual appetite--including a remarkable predilection to copulate incessantly, commit felatio, genital rubbing, masturbation, et cetera and so forth and so on. The Alfred E. Newman of the great apes, the bonobo hasn't a worry in the world and isn't afraid to show it in front of even casual observers!

This idea resonates strongly among humans, who have the remarkable cognitive ability to understand their limitations, but are less equipped to do something about it. What robust adolescent human male doesn't look at this and beg, "Why couldn't I have been born a bonobo?" And what head of state, upon declaring war against another country, hasn't paused to wish that if only Saddam Hussein was more like an irrepressible bonobo, none of this would be necessary.

And so the story goes.

And the evolutionists would tell you that if we can only understand the bonobo, scientifically speaking, we could get in touch with our true inner selves. From scientific study, we could learn from these 'cousins' from the Congolese jungles about not only our origins, but also how to behave better ourselves. The agenda of these evolutionists also implies that if we just knew what the bonobo knows, and could put it into practice, we wouldn't have need for corporations that service the defense sectors, or those such as Blader Industries, Inc., a vertically integrated conglomerate of enterprises and concerns that collectively operates on the principle that copulation among humans is more difficult to achieve, but must be encouraged, as no less than the survival of our species is at stake!

Well, it can by disturbing for some to occasionally see tidy scientific theories disturbed by such things as useful data, or by scientists compelled to establish the ecological veracity of previous work. But sure enough, there are people out there who think bonobo society in the wild is a bit more complicated than the picture of bonobo society that has been drawn mostly from observations of well-fed and cared for bonobo groups housed in comfortable suburban facilities and zoological parks.